tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36014815825408297772023-11-16T02:49:53.875-08:00Whizz MagUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-3726371313812154822009-09-03T06:49:00.000-07:002009-09-18T10:48:00.321-07:00Pirate Laws<p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">1.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate dasn't ask fer directions. He relies only on his gut feelin', a compass, or a booty map. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">2.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Parrots be th' preferred pirate companion. Monkeys be an acceptable substitute, unless they flin' the'r bilge water at swabbies. Then they be an awesome substitute. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">3.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">When fishin', a pirate uses either a sword, a knife, or his bare hands. Use o' a hook be only acceptable in th' event th' pirate be missin' a hand. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">4.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortunes shall always wear boots, 'ceptin' in th' case o' a peg leg. Then one boot be acceptable. thongs be starboard ou'. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">5.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortunes do nay bawl, 'ceptin' in th' case o' th' loss o' a shipload o' rum. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">6.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">When describin' th' size o' a booty, a pirate be required t' exaggerate by at least 130%. Flowers be nay booty under any circumstances, unless spake flowers be made ou' o' dubloon. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">7.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate shall nerewear lipstick, nail polish, or capri britches. Actually, that kinda goes without sayin'. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">8.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate shall discuss his feelings, unless his feelings include guttin' a man from stem t' stern an' spillin' his entrails. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">9.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate ortin' ta always remove his hat in th' presence o' a bartender. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">10.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Durin' a swordfight, sword-fightin' insults be required. In th' event both participants be still alive at th' end o' th' swashbuckle, th' participant wi' th' superior insults shall be declared th' victor. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">11.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate shall erewear a "fanny pack". <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">12.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">All foods prepared by a pirate must include rum, grog, or grog. Boone`s an' other "Wench Punch" be prohibited. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">13.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate may nerecompliment another pirate on th' softness o' his hands. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">14.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate shall wear a bracelet or a necklace, unless 'tis th' tooth or tusk o' an animal he killed. If in th' presence o' cannibals, a necklace be acceptable camoujolly rogere, but only if spake necklace be made o' crewmate toes. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">15.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortune Law: Dousin' oneself in grog be a perfectly acceptable replacement fer a shower. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">16.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate shall drink Grog ou' o' a glass. Grog be only t' be consumed either straight from th' barrel, or from a mug heavy enough t' to kill a man. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">17.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Three-cornered hats, headbands an' bandanas be th' only acceptable headwear fer pirates. Fedoras, bowler derbies, baseball caps, mickey ears, top hats, sombreros, or anythin' wi' lace an' flowers be removed from th' vessel-- hade included. A grace period o' one minute be allowed fer hats looted from a tailory. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">18. </span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate shall nerewrap presents. Th' only thin' a pirate gives be a bludgerin`. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">19.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortune Law: A pirate dasn't use th' word "Fabulous". Ever. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">20.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate shall attend a movie wi' less than an Arrrr ratin'. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">21.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Only a pirate be capable o' killin' another pirate. If ye be nay a pirate (e.g. a ninja) an' wish t' challenge a pirate, they be havin' a word fer that. Corpse. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">22.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortune Law: "ARRRRRRRRRRR..." be a perfectly acceptable answer t' any question. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">23.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate dasn't "go shopping". Unless by "shopping", ye mean "killing". <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">24.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Peglegs must be made o' timber or some other suitable wood. Plastic, ceramic, porcelain, or metal peglegs be utterly unnacceptable, simply on accoun' o' 't complicates th' use o' th' phrase "shi'er me timbers". <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">25.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Real pirates be havin' chest hair. If ye cannot grow chest hair, ye may be a cabin boy. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">26.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Under nay circumstances be a comb-o'er an acceptable pirate hairdo. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">27. </span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate may erechange his shirt on accoun' o' 'tis "wrinkled". A pirate may only change his shirt if 'tis completely soaked in blood. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">28.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">When drinkin', Gentleman o' fortunes may sin'. "Fifteen Men on a Dead Man`s Chest" be preferred. Kelly Clarkson songs be nay allowed. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">29.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate shall eredrive a minivan, unless he drives th' minivan into a tavern, fer th' purposes o' lootin' barrels o' rum from spake tavern. Upon completion o' this task, th' minivan be t' be burned. Nay exceptions. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">30.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay matter how hard 'tis rainin', two pirates may nereshare an umbrella. Gentleman o' fortunes do nay fear rain. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">31.</span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">If circumstances demand a career change, a move into real estate brokerage or tax collection shall be considered a lateral move an' spake swabbie may keep the'r pirate status. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">32.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate dasn't snuggle wi' an animal, unless he be tryin' t' snap its neck. But I guess that wouldna really be "snuggling". <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">33.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate may nerewear another man`s clothin', unless he first kills that man. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">34. </span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Two pirates must nereshare a bunk or a hammock. 'Tis perfectly acceptable fer one pirate t' sleep on th' deck, or on a pile o' booty. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">35.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortunes do nay wear eyeglasses or bifocals unless they be lookin' at a booty map, an' e'en then they be allowed only a monacle. Any comments about "Mr. Peanut" while wearin' th' monacle be prohibited. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">36.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">When settin' ou' on a voyage, a pirate dasn't pack a suitcase. He be only t' brin' what he can carry under his arms, or what his wench can carry on th' lass' aft. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">37.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate dasn't mow th' lawn. Lawns be fer landlubbers. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">38.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Liftin' or removin' one`s eyepatch be extremely impolite but be nay considered an insult. `Tis jus' kinda gross. Likewise, one ortin' ta nereremove another pirate`s eyepatch, 'ceptin' wi' a sword t' th' face. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">39.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortunes nereuse th' words "fresh" or "feelings," an' certainly nay together (as in "I be havin' that nay-so-fresh feeling"). <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">40.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate must nerevisit a tannin' salon. If he be nay already tan enough from searchin' fer booty, he hasn`t been searchin' hard enough. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">41.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">While creativity be encouraged durin' any barfight or battle at sea, pirates may only use th' followin' types o' sword; falchions, scimitars, rapiers, an' particularly long knives. Katanas or any other Ninja sword be strictly forbidden, unless th' Gentleman o' fortune rips off a Ninja`s arm an' hurls th' arm, an' attached Katana, as a projectile. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">42.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate shall eresit on a hade seat, fer any reason. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">43.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Kidnappin' be an acceptable substitute fer killin', but only if 'tis fer th' purpose o' plank walkin' at a later time. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">44. </span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">When swimmin', pirates do nay dive. They cannonball. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">45.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Cannoneers aboard a pirate vessel be nay allowed t' use hearin' protection o' any sort. Nay matter what th' OSHA regulations say, if ye canna stand bleedin` from th' ears, ye be havin' nay business bein' a Gentleman o' fortune. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">46.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate will nerewear a patch that be any other colour than black; unless 'tis halloween. Then they can wear a patch wi' an eyeball painted on th' abroadside. Polka dots be nay permitted under any circumstances. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">47.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Female pirates be allowed some exception t' rules concernin' hygiene an' garmentry, but must make up fer 't by usin' twice as much profanity. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">48.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Hooks be th' only acceptable hand substitute. However, they may nay be havin' secondary attachments such as screwdrivers, keg openers, corkscrews, or nail files. These be Gentleman o' fortunes we`re talkin' about, nay Inspector Gadget. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">49.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate`s diet consists mainly o' meat. If at sea, an' meat be nay available, shoe leather be an acceptable replacement. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">50.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortune Law: Ye canna spell pirate, without "irate". Thar`s a reason fer that, so dasn't e'en try. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">51.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate will ever, ereraise his pinky when drinkin' any sort o' beverage. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">52. <span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortune Law: When choosin' clothin', e'en if 't looks dirty, or smells dirty, 'tis clist. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">53.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate may ride in a skiff, if travellin' t' or from his ship. Use o' a Kayak be only permitted if used fer cannon target practice. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">54.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">When drinkin' rum, th' only thin' a pirate adds t' th' rum be more rum. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">55. <span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Th' official Gentleman o' fortune religion be Pastafarianism. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">56.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate shall ereplay wiffle ball. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">57.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Under nay circumstances does a pirate speak wi' a Ninja, unless he first decapitates that Ninja an' uses his hade like a sock puppet. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">58.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">When at th' office, answerin' th' telephone wi' "Arrrrrrr" be perfectly acceptable fer pirates. Other acceptable choices be "Avast!", an' "Ahoy Matey!" <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">59.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A Gentleman o' fortune dasn't read poetry, unless spake poetry be scrawled on th' wall o' a hade. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">60.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">All lasses be t' be referred t' as wenches, wi' th' exception o' female Gentleman o' fortunes, who can be referred t' as "lass". <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">61.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortunes do nay clist up, 'ceptin' when dubloon falls ou' o' a booty chest. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">62.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Spillin' rum be nay acceptable, 'ceptin' in th' act o' "pourin' some ou' fer dead mate". <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">63.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate may tell any tale o' swashbucklin' without bein' called on th' details, as long as at least 51% o' th' story be true. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">64.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A pirate may nereshave below th' neck. Shavin' above th' neck be allowed, but only if th' pirate shaves his entire hade. In th' presence o' cannibals, a mohawk be acceptable. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">65.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Nay pirate may do th' arm movements fer "YMCA", or engage in country-western line-dancin'. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">66. </span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortunes do nay say "please" or "thank ye". Th' phrase "Arrr, I`ll probably kill ye next high tide'" be an acceptable alternative fer "Thank ye". <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">67.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Ortin' ta th' ship`s bow be havin' a carvin' o' a nekked wench, mermaid, or somethin' o' th' like, crew members ortin't touch 't. Feelin' up a wooden statue be unbecomin' o' a pirate. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">68.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortunes do nay "IM". Th' only instant message allowed be a sword through th' chest. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">69.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Dental Hygiene fer Gentleman o' fortunes be nay a priority. Ortin' ta thar be occasion, however, strong rum or salt water can be used as bung holewash. Anythin' "minty fresh" be strictly forbidden. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; MARGIN: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdanafont-family:Verdana;" ><span style="mso-list: Ignore">70.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'"> </span></span></span><span dir="ltr"></span></span></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana', 'sans-serif'; mso-bidi-: major-bidifont-family:'Times New Roman';" ><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentleman o' fortunes never, ereobey laws. Period. Ironic, I reckon.<br /><br />......... An' finally, ..... How do ye know if ye be a pirate?. Ye jus' ..... "Arrrrrrrr"...<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><hr /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-7561219010383063832009-09-02T17:30:00.000-07:002009-09-18T10:48:00.321-07:00Cap'n Sinsi's Advice - Be I abnormal?<span style="color:#000000;">Hey Cap'n o' Sea Dogs,</span><br /><br />I be a dumb lout who neither understands what swabbies be sayin', nor knows how t' make them understand me. Be I abnormal? Be everythin' wrong wi' me or be thar any chance that somethin' be wrong wi' th' swabbies as well?<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">Dumbfounded<br /></span><br />Hey Ya Scurvy Cur,<br /><br />I think most o' us feel like we be nay bein' heard, so welcome t' th' Sea world. As fer who be wrong an' who's starboard, th' rule be, when in doubt they be wrong an' ye lout, be so right.<br /><br />Regarrrds,<br /><span style="color:#366092;">Cap'n Sinsi</span><br /><br /><hr />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-49176950301422924032009-09-02T17:16:00.000-07:002009-09-18T10:48:00.321-07:00Cap'n Sinsi's Advice - I Can't Avast Drinkin' RumHey Ye Coward Cap'n,<br /><br />I can't avast drinkin' Rum. Ever' time I go t' the drinkshop I get Rum. I be havin' started t' hate drinkshop on accoun' o' th' rum be always thar. I be really worried. My Mom be worried too.<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">Mmmmm</span><br /><br />Dear Mmmmm Scurvy Dog,<br /><br />Slurp. Cap'n can't avast drinkin' Rum either. Ye've got me thar an' I be sorry t' admit that thar be some things e'en Cap'n can't fix.<br /><br />Regarrrds,<br /><span style="color:#366092;">Cap'n Sinsi</span><br /><br /><br /><hr />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-42323076216320796832009-09-02T15:05:00.000-07:002009-09-18T10:48:00.322-07:00Cap'n Sinsi's Advice - My Husband Be Actin' Like An Infamous ScallywagHey Cap'n,<br /><br />Me husband has a crush on Charlez Theron. I be jealous.<br /><br /><span style="color:#c00000;">Broken </span><br /><br />Dear Give 't right back,<br /><br />Arrey why be ye jealous? Ye develope a crush on Jack Sparrow. Swoon visibly when ye be seein' Jack on telly an' yer hubby be seated within viewin' distance. Try 't… 'its soooo much fun.<br /><br />Regarrrds<br /><span style="color:#366092;">Cap'n Sinsi</span><br /><br /><hr />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-25790340486935329952009-09-02T14:47:00.000-07:002009-09-18T10:48:00.322-07:00Cap'n Sinsi's Advice - My Cousin Be A Sorry LoutDear Cap'n Sinsi,<br /><br />I be a 19-voyage-old-pirate girl. A cousin o' mine who be a voyage younger t' me keeps copyin' me. She does everythin' I do. When we go t' a restaurant, she orders th' same meal as me. WhatereI buy she has t' buy. At me lassie's weddin' she wore th' same clothes as me an' got th' same hairstyle. I wouldna be shipmates wi' th' lass' if she wasn't me cousin, but me mom keeps tellin' me that I be havin' t' involve th' lass' in everythin' I do. I think she be a sorry lout 'cz she ends up copyin' me ever' single time. I feel like screamin' at th' lass', but me parents avast me. She be such a bug. 't bothers me that some swabbies be so dim-witted an' can't decide fer they's self.<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">Rattled</span><br /><br />Dear Flatter yersef,<br /><br />Thar be two ways o' lookin' at ever' problem. Ye can be all negative an' resentful an' cramp yer own style an' yer facial expression. Or ye can use th' fact that ye be bein' copied t' flatter yersef about yer wonderful sense o' style. Ahoy, 't happens t' celebrities all th' time.<br /><br />An' anyway, e'en while wearin' th' same thin', ye know that ye still look different from yer look alike. So cap'n suggests that ye chill, avast worryin' about why she be sooo insecure an' start flatterin' yersef.<br /><br />Regarrrds<br /><span style="color:#1f497d;">Cap'n Sinsi</span><br /><br /><br /><hr />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-28682075725219604002009-07-14T07:51:00.000-07:002009-07-15T22:00:56.194-07:00Is Campus Crime an issue in Karachi?<div align="justify">Today I read about the British foreign minister saying that there are many bogus colleges in UK... !! Keep this in mind if you see an ad. somewhere or get a spam...!!!! As for campus crimes, I think atleast in karachi, private-college/uni students don't need to worry at all.. it's all safe here... some hostel'ites do have pistols but it's because they are new to the city and feel less secure (and btw some of them think keeping a pistol make them look cool - heck!! it's not a guitar)... In the government educational institues, especially in Karachi University, students join political partiies at the time when they're new and looking for people to talk to because it's at this time that the party members come to them and ask them to join their parties. They think that they're more secure that way... And then there is always a tussle between the two well-known-for-violence parties, Jamiat and MQM(APMSO). Whenever we hear abt any act of campus-violence it has some connection with any of the two parties.<br /><br />I've not heard about any act of violence in my university (IBA), except for when a guy had punch a girl in her face when she'd said something intolerable to him. I don't know what happened to the guy afterwards, but it became a popular story in the uni...!!! Our "female" teacher (let alone the girls) was also laughing when she heard that. No homosexuals and No gays here, not atleast anyone I know about, no rape scene ofcourse.. and not even ragging - 10,000 Rupees fine isn't worth it. We have good pschology teachers who are always available in the counselling hours, though some of them need lessons on student-nature. Four students got dropped from my class last semester, none committed suicide. Last year when a student of LUMS had committed suicide, all the parents were like " Never let studies drive you crazy, if you can't stand exam pressure, just chill around" so it helped students in a way. All other universities in Karachi are more or less similar. Welcome to karachi.<br /><br />Campus Crime is not an issue in Pakistan. The only issue is Zardari.. and just a few minutes ago I read on someone's status that our democratic government has put a ban on anti-government(anti-zardari) sms or emails. So, if you're sending an sms during a lecture and it has anti-govt content, then it might come under Campus crimes...!!!</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><strong>Second Opinion:</strong></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong> </div><div align="justify">Campus crimes are a very very big issue in pakistan. Barring a few elitiest universities, its a part of life. Let me quote u a few personal examples when i was in SM commerce college.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Once I saw an APMSO dude minus his vest and shirt. When I looked behind him, it occured to me that someone had driven a knife a few times in his back, but not too deeply because he was good and mad. It was an APMSO an pakhtunkhwa students federation clash. A few days later the APMSO got its back when I saw a PKSF student with lots of blood where his nose shouold have been. A few days later we were sitting on the terrace and a few PKSF people came and divested us of our savings for 'chanda'. Then once when we were sitting in burns garden, the IJT an the ATI islamist groups went to war. There was a heavy gun fire with a bunch of pre-schoolers who had come to the meuseam at burns garden cought in the cross fire. I saw an IJT student opened fire on an ATI dude. Luckily the pistol was desi. By the time he got it to work, the ATI chap was far away. Later when the police came we suddenly realised that we were all SM students and the police was arresting those indiscriminately so we tried to get into the meususm. The police guard at the meuseum had ran away. We threatened to break the meusuem windows if we were not shaltered there from the police.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Those days SM college was one of the most peaceful colleges around next to Dj. Clashes between the two colleges were also common. Classes were disrupted at random. Other colleges were much much worse. The Karachi university ruitinely has students being killed in clashes, while the IJT's islamist student's militia has made life a living hell for universities all over the country. From PU to Bahudeen zakaria, they beat up 'couples', smash music eqipment, disrupt musical evenings and now increasingly armed clashes day in day out.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><strong>Response to the Second Opinion:</strong></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong> </div><div align="justify">Yes in govt colleges it's a big issue, in private institutions it doesn't exist. I remember when I was in DJ, we were sitting near the back gate, filling out our enrollment form. It was then that a landrover entered from the main gate and stepped out two APMSO students (supposedly armed) who had come to hit a Jamiat dude who with his supporters ran away immediately and all other students also left the campus right away. The police mobile which was supposed to be there was missing, so one could say that they might have informed the police before entering the college premises. A few days later a teacher was slapped by some APMSO dude and as ridiiculous as it is, the entire college was closed for three days in protest against the political party. These were the two of the three days that I actually went to the college. So, yes Violence is a part of govt. institutes.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I think the problem is in the entire system. The administration can't fix these issues because it is corrupt itself. Teachers are often found sleeping in the faculty room. They give tuitions to college students which I think is not allowed. If teachers and the administration themselves are corrupt how can they expect students to follow rules. And it's tempting for a student to join a political party who knows that the administration just can't do anything for him if he falls in any trouble.By "universities in Karachi" I mean all private institutes in karachi.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Violence is a part of many private colleges too, but it's very easy for one to save oneself from it. I mean, nothing is forced upon anyone. If you punch somone then you can definitely expect a kick in return.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-77072284656504207412009-06-09T03:53:00.000-07:002009-06-09T08:23:25.920-07:00Aptitude Test Maths<style type="text/css"><br />@import url(http://www.google.com/cse/api/branding.css);<br /></style><br /><div class="cse-branding-right" style="background-color:#FFFFFF;color:#000000"><br /> <div class="cse-branding-form"><br /> <form action="http://www.google.com.pk/cse" id="cse-search-box"><br /> <div><br /> <input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-2691889252409125:56f37p-kqv6" /><br /> <input type="hidden" name="ie" value="ISO-8859-1" /><br /> <input type="text" name="q" size="31" /><br /> <input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" /><br /> </div><br /> </form><br /> </div><br /> <div class="cse-branding-logo"><br /> <img src="http://www.google.com/images/poweredby_transparent/poweredby_FFFFFF.gif" alt="Google" /><br /> </div><br /> <div class="cse-branding-text"><br /> Custom Search<br /> </div><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="justify"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;color:#000066;">Quick Math:</span></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Learn the following fractions and you will be able to solve quick math problems without calculator.<br /></div><div align="justify">1/3=0.3333</div><div align="justify">2/3=0.6666 <strong>( See Example Q below)</strong></div><div align="justify"><br />1/4=0.25</div><div align="justify">2/4=0.5</div><div align="justify">3/4=0.75</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">1/5=0.2<br />2/5=0.4<br />3/5=0.6<br />4/5=0.8<br /><br />1/6=0.1666<br />2/6=0.3333<br />3/6=0.5<br />4/6=0.6666<br />5/6=0.8333<br /><br />1/7=0.1428<br />2/7=0.2857<br />3/7=0.4285<br />4/7=0.5714<br />5/7=0.7142<br />6/7=0.8571<br /><br />1/8=0.125<br />2/8=0.25<br />3/8=0.375<br />4/8=0.5<br />5/8=0.625<br />6/8=0.75<br />7/8=0.875<br /><br />1/9=0.1111<br />2/9=0.2222<br />3/9=0.3333<br />4/9=0.4444<br />5/9=0.5555<br />6/9=0.6666<br />7/9=0.7777<br />8/9=0.8888<br /><br />You have to rote-memorize these fractions to be able to solve quick-math problems.<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:verdana;">Example Q: 9 X 0.6666 = ?</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;">A= 7.3636</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;">B= 6</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;">C= 8.4224</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;">D= 6.6</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></strong><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><strong>Solution: </strong>9 X 0.6666= 9 X 2/3 = <strong>6</strong></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div><p><strong>Q. Increase:</strong></p><p><strong>60 by 35%</strong><br />60 X 135/100 = 81<br /><strong></strong></p><p><strong>28 by 125%<br /></strong>28 X 225/100 = 63</p><p><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /></p><p><strong>Q. Decrease:</strong></p><strong></strong><p><br /><strong>32 by 25%</strong><br />=32 X (100-25)/100<br />=32 X 75/100<br /><strong>=24</strong></p><p><strong><br />216 by 37.5%</strong><br />=216 X (100-37.5)/100<br />=216 X 62.5/100<br /><strong>=135</strong></p><p><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p><strong>Q. What number when increase by 15% becomes 161?</strong></p><p>Let a be the required number</p><p>a X 115/100 = 161</p><p>a= 161 X 100/115</p><p>a= <strong>140</strong></p><p><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></p><div align="justify"><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;color:#000066;"><strong>Math Shortcuts:</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"></span><br /><strong>When Multiplying a number by 5:</strong><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><strong>68 X 5 = ?</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">=68 X 5</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">=68 X 10/2</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">=680/2</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">=<strong>340</strong></span></div><div align="justify"><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></strong></div><div align="justify"><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;">When dividing a number by 5:</span></strong></div><div align="justify"><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></strong></div><div align="justify"><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana;">260/5 = ?</span></strong></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">=260/10 X 2</span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">=26X2</span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">=<strong>52</strong></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Take the original number and imagine a space between the two digits</span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>Q. 52 X 11</strong></span></div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong><div align="justify"><br /></strong>5_2<br />Now add the two numbers together and put them in the middle:<br />5_(5+2)_2<br />=<strong>572</strong></div><div align="justify"><br />If the numbers in the middle add up to a 2 digit number, just insert the second number and add 1 to the first:</div><div align="justify"><br />9_(9+9)_9</div><div align="justify">9_(18)_9<br />(9+1)_8_9<br />10_8_9<br /><strong>=1089</strong></div><div align="justify"></span></div><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span> <div align="justify"><strong>Quick Square:</strong></div><strong><div align="justify"><br /></strong></div>If you need to square a 2 digit number ending in 5, you can do so very easily with this trick. Mulitply the first digit by itself + 1, and put 25 on the end. <div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>Q. 25^2</strong></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong></div><div align="justify">= 25^2</div><div align="justify">= _25</div><div align="justify">= 2(2+1)_25</div><div align="justify">= 2(3)_25</div><div align="justify">= <strong>625</strong></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong></div><div align="justify"><strong>Q. 35^2</strong></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong></div><div align="justify">= 35^2</div><div align="justify">= _25</div><div align="justify">= 3(3+1)_25</div><div align="justify">=3(4)_25</div><div align="justify">=<strong>1225</strong></div><div align="justify"><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div><div align="justify"><strong>Tough Multiplication:</strong></div><strong><div align="justify"><br /></strong></div>If you have a large number to multiply and one of the numbers is even, you can easily subdivide to get to the answer: <div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>32 X 125 = ?</strong></div><div align="justify"><br />32 x 125, is the same as:</div><div align="justify">16 x 250 is the same as:</div><div align="justify">8 x 500 is the same as:</div><div align="justify">4 x 1000 = <strong>4,000</strong></div><div align="justify"><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;color:#000066;">Problem Solving:</span></strong></div><p align="justify"><strong>Q- The workers of an electronic company were given an increase of 8% of their monthly salaries. If Mr. Leoni Messi earned $600 per month originally, find his salary after the increment.</strong></p><p align="justify"><strong>Solution:</strong></p><p align="justify">=600 X 108/100</p><p align="justify">=<strong>648</strong></p><p align="justify"><strong>Mr. Leoni Messi's salary after increment is 864. Find his orginal salary.</strong></p><p align="justify"><strong>Solution:</strong></p><p align="justify">= 864 X 100/108</p><p align="justify">= <strong>800</strong></p><p align="justify"><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p align="justify"><strong>Q. A man invests 40% of his savings in the stock market. He invests 50% of the remainder in property and deposits the remaining balance in a bank's savings account. If this last amount is $15000, what was his total savings?</strong></p><p align="justify"><strong>Solution:</strong></p><p align="justify">40% in Stock Market. Remainder is 60%.</p><p align="justify">50% of the remainder (60%) is 30% which he invested in property. The remaining 30% is $15000.</p><p align="justify">30%=15000</p><p align="justify">1%= 15000/30</p><p align="justify">1%= 500</p><p align="justify">100%= <strong>$50000</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#660000;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">This Post is under development.</span></p><p><br /><br /></p><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "pub-2691889252409125"; /* Advertisement */ google_ad_slot = "5207208882"; google_ad_width = 728; google_ad_height = 90; //--><br /></script><br /><script src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-64705198083468752142009-06-09T03:28:00.001-07:002009-06-09T07:08:58.239-07:00How to give Admission Interview<strong>By:</strong><br /><strong>Salman Gaffar</strong><br /><strong>Anees Hussain</strong><br /><br /><br /><p><strong></strong></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibZMliyrw3X1qQWa3PJHML70GQBtHCKt2Y0qHDtWtDe5avHgPM6-xQGeZuvaJPa2XlcKyWx0tTy44Nkqd6cZHODDuwvvCfwFjpPYhWL1V1fTY428vn2cPqX-yoxPc6jpXfVHoo9RPXnnQ/s1600-h/1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345278624981509970" style="WIDTH: 374px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 80px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibZMliyrw3X1qQWa3PJHML70GQBtHCKt2Y0qHDtWtDe5avHgPM6-xQGeZuvaJPa2XlcKyWx0tTy44Nkqd6cZHODDuwvvCfwFjpPYhWL1V1fTY428vn2cPqX-yoxPc6jpXfVHoo9RPXnnQ/s400/1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.aneeshussain.com/">http://www.aneeshussain.com/</a><br /><div align="justify"><br /><br />The Interview / Group Discussion (GD) process is a VERY IMPORTANT part of the admission process. Through it, universities wish to ensure that the people they choose are of a certain caliber, and will survive the rigors of work. Hence the qualities that universities look for are:<br /><br /><strong>1. Intelligence<br />2. Confidence<br />3. Knowledge<br />4. Respect for others' opinions<br />5. Creativity<br />6. A clear vision and ability to set objectives<br /></strong><br />You may possess none, some or all of the above. It is almost impossible to fool an experienced interviewer. Think about it – the guy taking your interview has probably met hundreds (if not thousands) of people who wanted to take admission. He's probably taught many of them too. So you may think that you are super-cool, but he sure as hell doesn't think so.<br /><br />Now do the following:<br /><br /><strong>1. Dress smartly:</strong><br /><br />Guys should wear a tie, dress pants & shirt. If you normally keep a beard, make sure it is in order. If you shave, then shave. Get a hair cut if your hair hasn't been cut for a while. Your clothes should be understated – which means nothing flashy. Girls – You know how to dress smartly. Just do what you do best. Don't overdo the makeup, but don't under-do it either. A small amount of jewelry (nothing flashy) should do. Look like an executive.<br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div class="para" align="justify"><strong>2. Group Discussion:</strong></div><br /><br /><div class="para" align="justify"></div><br /><br /><div class="para" align="justify">You may be divided into groups of 15 to 20. You will be given a topic, and each candidate will be required to speak on it for a minute each. The first person will get a couple of minutes to think about it before he starts speaking. Do the following:<br /><br />A) Think of 5 important points that you can talk about on the topic<br /><br />B) Pick a side – either FOR or AGAINST.<br /><br />C) Think with your heads, not your hearts. So regardless of what your emotions say, be practical. Choose the side based on how many points you have in your head in favour or against.<br /><br />D) If you have 5 points on the topic, spending 10 to 12 seconds on each will ensure that you can use the entire one minute to make your case.<br /><br />E) Remember, you MUST speak for the entire minute. Anything less will not do….<br /><br />F) Once the individual speeches are made, the entire floor is opened for discussion. Here you must try to take lead and get your point across first. Again, be practical rather than emotional. Be controlled – don't be an aggressive jerk. Use words like "I agree with your opinion – however consider this alternative point of view…." Or "My friend has raised an important issue here, and to further this line of reasoning, consider that….."<br /><br />G) If you are told not to say anything further, don't worry – that's normal and probably a better thing to happen. Now you can sit back and relax, and enjoy the show. Remember – do not say anything further after you have been asked to shut up. </div><br /><br /><div class="para" align="justify"></div><br /><br /><div class="para" align="justify">H) If you have an excellent educational background or a great test score, they shouldn't bother you with too many questions.<br /><br />I) They will probably ask you something like "Tell us about yourself" – that is an excellent question to be asked. You can win the interview in this question. Start by introducing yourself, a short summary of your educational background, and a full thesis of what you want to achieve in the future. If you can show that you are ABSOLUTELY clear about what you want to achieve in the future, you can really impress them.<br /><br />J) Another important thing to talk about is what motivates you and what drives you. You can tell them about the people who have had a positive impact in your life – they can be parents, relatives or family friends. Don't talk about super heroes or friends your age (who cannot really have achieved much in life).<br /><br />K) Why BBA/BCS/BE/IT? That's easy - there are many reasons why one would pursue any degree – it is sought after, it is a sure shot to a fantastic career, it will allow you to follow up with an MBA which is a great degree, etc etc.<br /><br />L) Questions such as "Your favourite subject" can be a blessing, as long as you are prepared for answering questions on that favourite subject.<br /><br />M) If the interviewer is trying to anger you or is replying in negative to all that you are saying even though you know what you are saying is right, then control yourself. This guy is acting this way only to see if you can maintain your cool under pressure. React with a nice smile, and say something like: "Sir – you are probably correct in most of the things that you have said. However, according to my information, the following are correct….." For additional effect, add something like : "However, my information could have become outdated – and thus I will review it later".</div><br /><br /><div class="para" align="justify"></div><br /><br /><div class="para" align="justify">N) If they ask you a General Knowledge question and you do not know the answer to it, then simply reply : "I have not come across this information / event". No point in trying to guess some thing that you have no idea of. If you know part of it, you can mention that.<br /><br />O) If you are a good mind reader, try to decipher what is happening inside this person's head. Sometimes, little things in the demeanor can give you an idea of what a person is thinking.<br /><br />P) At all times, maintain your cool. Do not give smart ass answers such as "I have come here to do my BBA, not to join the Army" if they ask you how many countries lie on the border of Pakistan. Answer questions with honesty and integrity, not brashness or over-confidence.<br /><br /><strong>To me, a great interview requires the following:<br /></strong><br />1. Making a rapport with the interviewer. Try to exude a positive attitude, and it will be noticed by the interviewer. Show respect, and you will get respect.<br /><br />2. Keeping the answers crisp and to the point. However, whenever you get the opportunity, take it to talk about your strengths and achievements.<br /><br />3. Ensuring that the interviewer understands that you have a vision of your future.<br /><br /><br />Good Luck </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-43096016687416893672009-06-09T00:44:00.000-07:002009-06-09T00:51:16.330-07:00Notice By Human Resource Department<div align="justify">Dear STAFF,</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>1) TRANSPORTATION:</strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">A) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">B) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">C) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>2) ANNUAL LEAVE:</strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year -Wow! Said 1 employee- They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>3) LUNCH BREAK:</strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">A) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">B) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">C) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>4) SICK DAYS:</strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>5) SURGERY:</strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>6) INTERNET USAGE:</strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, chargesWill be deducted from your salary.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 10MB connection.Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed somewhere else.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">Best Regards,</div><div align="justify">HRD</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-77686896401926723312009-06-08T23:48:00.000-07:002009-06-08T23:54:54.244-07:00Management Versus Engineering<div align="justify">A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, canyou help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">"I am", replied the man."How did you know?"</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">The man below responded, "You must be in management."</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-50819703413852067872009-06-08T23:29:00.001-07:002009-06-08T23:33:16.242-07:00Two Little Boys<div align="justify"><br />Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.<br /><br />The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would peak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.<br /><br />The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,<br /><br />"Do you know where God is, son?"<br /><br />The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,<br /><br />"Where is God?!"<br /><br />Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,<br /><br />"Where is God?!"<br /><br />The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time".</div><div align="justify"><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">GOD is missing, and they think we did it !!!!!!!!!!!!</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-24282732640688828442009-06-08T00:18:00.000-07:002009-06-08T00:25:31.896-07:00College Admission Essay<div align="justify">This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU. The author was accepted and is now attending NYU.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">3A. IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER,WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week;when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in SriLanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">But I have not yet gone to college.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-87066391911796116682009-06-07T23:53:00.000-07:002009-06-08T00:14:53.472-07:00Why Bill Gates sold off Microsoft<div align="justify"><span style="color:#990000;">The letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft</span></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Subject: <span style="font-size:130%;color:#cc33cc;"><strong>Problems with my new computer</strong></span></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Dear Mr. Bill Gates,</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">We have bought a new computer for our home, and we have found some problems which I want to bring to your notice.</div><div align="justify"> </div><ol><li><div align="justify">There is a button <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'start'</strong></span>, but there is not <strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">'stop'</span></strong> button. We request you to check this.</div></li><li><div align="justify">We find there is <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'Run'</strong></span> in the menu. One of my friends clicked it and he ran up to Amritsar. So, we request you to change that to <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'sit'</strong></span>, so that we can click that by sitting.</div></li><li><div align="justify">One doubt is whether any <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'re-scooter'</strong></span> is available in the system? I find only <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'re-cycle'</strong></span> but I own a scooter at my home.</div></li><li><div align="justify">There is a<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>'find'</strong></span></span> button, but it's not functioning properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the door key with this 'find' button, but were unable to trace it. Please rectify this problem</div></li><li><div align="justify">My child learnt <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'Microsoft Word'</strong></span>, but now he wants to learn <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'Microsoft Sentence'</strong></span>. So when will you provide that?</div></li><li><div align="justify">I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon that shows <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'My computer'</strong></span>. When will you provide the remaining items ?</div></li><li><div align="justify">It is surprising that windows says <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'My Pictures'</strong></span>, but there is not even a single picture of mine. So, when will you keep my pictures in that?</div></li><li><div align="justify">There is <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'Microsoft Office'</strong></span>. What about <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'Microsoft Home'</strong></span> since I use the PC at home only?</div></li><li><div align="justify">You provided <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'My Recent Documents'</strong></span>, when will you provide <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'My Past Documents'</strong></span> ?</div></li><li><div align="justify">You provided <span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>'My Network Places'</strong></span>. Please for God sake do not provide <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'My Secret Places'</strong></span>. I do not want my wife to know where I go after office hours.</div></li></ol><p align="justify">Regards,</p><p align="justify">Banta</p><p align="justify">And one last question Mr. Gates,</p><p align="justify">Sir how is it that you name is <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'Gates'</strong></span> but you are selling <span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>'windows'</strong></span> ?</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-47870424303939758562009-06-07T23:43:00.000-07:002009-06-07T23:46:40.346-07:00Funny Essay On Cow<div align="justify"><span style="color:#990000;">You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.</span></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">COW</span></strong></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">He is the cow. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed. And because he is female, he gives milks, [but will do so when he is got child.]. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [horses don't have any such attachment]What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, water mans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also his other motion. {gober} is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes [like Pizza], in hand, and drying in the sun.Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards he chews with his teeth that are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body here upon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.This is the cow.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-82356784244894387662009-06-05T08:58:00.000-07:002009-06-06T22:14:42.918-07:00Did your job rejected? ( Get Back to Your Work )<span class="Apple-style-span" style="COLOR: rgb(52,38,12);font-family:'Times New Roman';" ><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align="center"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal;font-family:Comic Sans MS;" ><strong style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Did your job rejected?</strong></span><br /></span></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify" align="center"><span style="color:#000000;"></span> </div><div align="left"><div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal;font-family:Calibri;color:#000000;" ><strong>Next </strong></span><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span style="TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal;font-family:Calibri;color:#000000;" ><strong>time your application for a job is rejected...</strong></span></span></a></span><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Calibri;color:#33ffff;"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span style="color:#000000;">Dear [Interviewer's Name</span><span style="color:#000000;">]:</span></a></span></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="color:#000000;"></span><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal;font-family:Calibri;" ><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"> </div></a><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="color:#000000;">Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview]</span></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><br /><span style="color:#000000;"></span></a></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span style="color:#000000;">After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have had been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.</span></a></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><br /><span style="color:#000000;"></span></a></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span style="color:#000000;">Despite [Firm's Name]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.</span></a></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><br /><span style="color:#000000;"></span></a></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span style="color:#000000;">Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.</span></a></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><br /><span style="color:#000000;"></span></a></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"></span></a><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span style="color:#000000;">Sincerely,</span></a><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span></div></span></span></div><div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"><a style="CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: rgb(0,104,207); TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/did-your-job-rejected..html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span style="TEXT-DECORATION: none"><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal;font-family:Calibri;color:#000000;" >[Signature]</span></span></a></span><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Calibri;">[Your Name]</span><br /></span></div></div></div></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-30830403377836530002009-06-04T10:40:00.000-07:002009-06-08T23:02:29.571-07:00Brochure Design<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3gK-wdh12jyqaJR3C3iB_u14iMt99cBgkrMfBD6f7QTPdmd0iQd8KRiEH6H06ElGhspNvphWo5esuVbGLL40ZscW36bSNAgf-KGEX4XuVf3cqybyYzG00WtrEPXToa-c4GPdCymarYi4/s1600-h/1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345204141296064914" style="WIDTH: 305px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3gK-wdh12jyqaJR3C3iB_u14iMt99cBgkrMfBD6f7QTPdmd0iQd8KRiEH6H06ElGhspNvphWo5esuVbGLL40ZscW36bSNAgf-KGEX4XuVf3cqybyYzG00WtrEPXToa-c4GPdCymarYi4/s400/1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFVP95xL4YRTYJv5Ly7NqyjXzvyJbgsBZ4gqyJ38c0kYKgOIu7XMtQ0sHVvYgxWCHVkvcaf-E5IT403Vm9WDBEEqfaApRHbmTHMtpqMRsJnXKmuz91w-gyYYbxsHe5fQ25ZWWH-o2jwuU/s1600-h/1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345203894290628050" style="WIDTH: 304px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFVP95xL4YRTYJv5Ly7NqyjXzvyJbgsBZ4gqyJ38c0kYKgOIu7XMtQ0sHVvYgxWCHVkvcaf-E5IT403Vm9WDBEEqfaApRHbmTHMtpqMRsJnXKmuz91w-gyYYbxsHe5fQ25ZWWH-o2jwuU/s400/1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I've not used any complicated tool to design these two brochures. Any person with a little knowledge of Photoshop can design these brochures without even using the "undo" option. I've just selected the required area using Rectangular Marquee Tool (M) & Elliptical Marquee tool (M) and filled them with colors using ctrl+Backspace or Alt+Backspace option. As for the Kids you can see in the first brochure, I've used Lasso tool to crop them. I'll be uploading a video about how to use a lasso tool on Adobe Photoshop soon.<br /><br />Feel free to comment. If you've any queries, do let me know. I would love to answer you.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-72664617423052356872009-06-04T10:22:00.000-07:002009-06-08T22:56:35.407-07:00Title Page<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTlOH1hbF-pvVhZMAfUf3v48bbuDnIf45qvT5OwkDuXMXrdmWNFxWKGFXhOaQZstUkV-xcSegH6uKOWDJqy8Lyn2OEDbPXmq5i_K7ptB33gsNe6iwiX3ueFZAgCRavEAOkWUKVcK67iH4/s1600-h/1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345202654681613122" style="WIDTH: 283px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTlOH1hbF-pvVhZMAfUf3v48bbuDnIf45qvT5OwkDuXMXrdmWNFxWKGFXhOaQZstUkV-xcSegH6uKOWDJqy8Lyn2OEDbPXmq5i_K7ptB33gsNe6iwiX3ueFZAgCRavEAOkWUKVcK67iH4/s400/1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br /><br />I had to work for more than an hour to design this title page that's why I could not make video of the process, though I would like you to know that I've used 4 different images to make it.<br />Pictures of Pakistan's Map, Hundred Rupee Note, Dollar Note & Masjid were merged using different options. Mostly I've reduced the color-capacity of the images to make them semi-transparent ( you can see the color-capacity option on the top of layer box ).<br /><br />Feel free to ask me any questions. I would love to answer you.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-20941819990791596042009-06-03T09:15:00.000-07:002009-06-08T22:52:00.968-07:00How to crop an Image?<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dySXLDbSHA5KIZVND4wpIIsPVrwaeV602lBadRxOxae3eNihYZXDkYBwqARr5bwO0IZQC-aOlItOoglGUp4eA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />Step 1: open the image<br />Step 2: select the crop tool ( keyboard shortcut key= C )<br />Step 3: select the required area using the crop tool<br />Step 4: press ENTER<br />Step 5: save the file ( "save as" recommended )Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-48813307366393773712009-05-16T05:06:00.001-07:002009-05-16T05:15:36.746-07:00Chelsea Vs Barca - Champions League Semifinal<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxDNmqEgSBviliZbESUAuEqt0K2Ble7xNNHyhrfoVad9alSiaEsVFuntHjeKgbSqHJz8uV5-TsH3qg9gXdMUw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-62254985158369027282009-05-13T09:22:00.000-07:002009-05-13T09:37:19.153-07:00Chelse Vs Barcelona - Champions League Semifinal<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; line-height: 15px; ">Chelsea did play awesome football at Stamford that night and it would have won the game if Drogba had been sent out of the game before the first half. Not only that he missed so many chances, but he also wasted a lot of time which is why Barca got extra time and Iniesta scored the goal in 92nd minute of the match. He's a 6 feet three inches tall but when a defender just so much as nudges him, he falls like a little girl... So, just because he couldn't score past a 5 feet goal keeper Valdes, he took all his frustration on the referee and thought all the chelsea fans would forget his mistakes!!!</span><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 15px; font-family:'lucida grande';"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><div style="text-align: justify;">About the penalties. I agree that they deservedone penalty, but not three... hell no !!!<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Abedal pulling Drogba down was a penalty, but Drogba's reputation as a diver hurt him. I think now is the time that Guss Hiddink should start asking players to play sensible football.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Abedal was given a wrong red card. He was way too far when Anelka fell down. But then referee made many outrageous decisions against both the team, so no comments on that... <br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Pique (inintentionally) touching the ball was a penalty, if it was given I would have accepted that, but that's where Barca's luck came in between<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Appeal against Daniel Alvis appeared to be a penalty on the first sight, but when I watched the replay it occured that he'd pushed Malouda outside the box and then he blocked him inside the line. So that wasn't a penalty... btw Malouda was outstanding that night... I never saw him giving such a brilliant performance anytime before the last two matches..<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Samuel Eto'o in the 96th minute... NO that wasn't a penalty either. He turned his back and didn't even know where the ball actually was, and it was really amazing to see Ballack crying like a 13 year kid... People criticize him for his slow pace, but he really was running very fast behind the referee, so yeah Ballack got some pace.. cheer up chelsea fans..!!! I don't know whey he's still in the team....<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I think Chelsea (and fans) should remember the way Henry was pulled down inside the box by Bosingwa at Nou camp ( No comments on the chelsea's game that night) . That was a clear penalty. He was just milliseconds away from the goal. Over all Chelsea played really well at Stamford and it could have won as this time,unlike last time, they really wanted to play football...!!!<br /></div></span></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 15px;font-family:'lucida grande';"><br /></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 48px; line-height: 15px; ">about Man U vs Barca.... </span><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 15px;font-family:'lucida grande';"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:11px;"><div style="text-align: justify;">3 great ( great for some people though) Barca players are out of the game , so I too think that Man U will take the Champions League title... but then Barca has many great midfielders and strikers too.. Messi, Iniesta, Henry, Xavi and Eto'o have ability to rip open Man U's defense...!!! and not to forget that Man U's Fletcher is out of the game too..<br /></div></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 15px;font-family:'lucida grande';"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 15px;font-family:'lucida grande';">So let's wait for the 27th of May. I hope to see both Barca and Man U players running behind the ball rather than screaming behind the referee....!!!</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-47455129102246985302009-05-05T06:19:00.000-07:002009-06-06T22:22:02.701-07:00Cement Industry of Pakistan<div align="justify"><strong>Significance:</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />— Currently there are 29 Cement Plants with installed capacity of around 35 mn tonnes p.a.<br />— It has an oligopolistic structure with more than 50% of the shares with top 5 companies<br />— Contributes over Rs.30billion in the form of taxes.<br />— Foreign Direct investment inflow up to $ 80.4 million by this sector.<br />— The per capita consumption of cement in 2003 was 75kg which increased briskly to 110kg in 2007<br /><br /><strong>Factor Conditions:</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Capital Resources<br /></strong>— Very huge investment in the cement industry is made $26.2 million in this current year up till the month of february and $80 million in the year 2007-08<br />— Duty of almost 40% is imposed in the industry which is 186% higher than India therefore the price of cement bag is Rs. 220 per 50 kg. in Pakistan<br />— Cement industry stays at a capacity utilization level of 65 - 70%<br />— Reasons:<br />— Need to overall the lines<br />— In winter and rainy seasons cement usage decreases<br /><br /><strong>Infrastructure</strong><br />— There are 27 individual firms in the market out of which 21 are listed in stock exchange 4 are foreign companies and 3 belong to armed forces<br />— Prices of cement does not vary too much due to geographical location however it effects very little price changes due to 20% freight cost in the total cost of cement manufacturing.<br /><br /><strong>Material Resource</strong><br />— Raw materials:<br />¡ Limestone (75-80%)<br />¡ Clay (15-20%)<br />¡ Iron ore (little amount)<br />¡ Gypsum (5%)<br />— Machinery Imported from:<br />¡ China<br />¡ Italy<br />— Sufficient enough to meet European Standards<br />Labour<br />— Skilled, Unskilled ratio is 2:3 as determined by the research<br />— Skilled labour mostly include Chemical Engineers mostly from NED and NUST<br /><br /><strong>Energy Sources</strong><br />— 60-70% cost of production includes the cost of Energy sources.<br />— Coal and Gas are used as a source of Energy however Petroleum can also be used as alternative.<br />— Gas obtained from gas lines and Coal is mostly imported from China<br />— Furnace oil/coal/natural gas:<br />— Major portion of cost of sales<br />— Electricity is the most expensive out of the three while gas is the cheapest<br />— Coal is used however because the pressure required for using gas to heat the kiln is not adequate<br /><br /><strong>Capacity Utilization<br /></strong>· The capacity of cement production is 37 million tonnes last fiscal year<br />· Current capacity utilization is 70 – 75%.<br />· Reasons<br />o Machine repairing<br />o Seasonal demand<br /><br /><strong>Transportation</strong><br />— Containers are used for transportation purposes and even trains when cement is required urgently from north to south or vice versa<br />— As for exports ships are launched from ports but the cost of transportation faced by firms is so high that at maximum they can reach till South Africa for exports and the price gets out of budget when the ship reaches USA<br />— <strong>ISSUES</strong><br />◦ Though constant training is done, still labor is inefficient<br />◦ Freight charges are very high hence Pakistan unable to sell cement to USA<br />Packaging:<br />— Packaging is a very important factor for cement to remain of good quality with time<br />— Shelf life of cement is 3 to 6 months and after that the quality of cement seldom decreases by 5%<br />— The storage house of cement should be such that it should be protected from air which might make cement thick and moisture should be avoided so that cement is not spoiled<br />— 2 ply packaging is most common to be found and further on the packaging is used for paper bags after cement has been used from the packet<br />— Polypropylene bags are also developed for Cement packaging purposes<br /><br /><strong>Demand Conditions:</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Seasonal Demand</strong><br />— Demand of cement decreases during winter season because days get shorter and lesser work can be done during working hours<br />— In winter season, working conditions are not appropriate for labors as cement causes damage to their hands while working in wintery conditions<br />— The situation is vice versa during summers<br /><br /><strong>Housing Sector</strong><br />— Housing sector is one of the major drivers of growth for the cement industry, it consume roughly 40% of cement demand<br />— Banks have lent up to PKR 55bn to the private sector for the purpose of buying/building houses<br />— An investment of PKR 950bn (USD 16bn) is envisaged in the Medium Term Development Framework (MTDF) for the development of housing during FY05-10<br />— <strong>ISSUE</strong><br />◦ The recession which has just come in has affected the demand and sales have reduced throughout the industry.<br /><br /><strong>Government Development Expenditures</strong><br />— Dams, Roads, Tunnels, Bridges, Underpasses<br />Dams:<br />— The impact is not as big as the chain effect of PSDP and housing sector, it is still significant<br />— Pakistan has sought USD 17bn funding from international lenders for the construction of three dams by 2016 which will be needed to avert flood, drought and energy crisis<br />— Construction of four large dams will generate demand of 3.7mn tons. Bhasha Daimer Dam, Munda Dam, Akhori Dam and Neelum Jhelum<br />— <strong>ISSUES<br /></strong>◦ Impact of these dams is very little<br />◦ Plans of building dams come in conflict with changes in governments<br /><br /><strong>Exports</strong><br />— Business Recorder reported that Pakistan’s cement exports witnessed a healthy growth of 65%, to over 6 million tons during 7 months of the current fiscal year mainly due to rise in international demand<br />— The statistics of All Pakistan Cement Manufacturers Association also showed that cement exports had mounted to over 6 million tons in 7 months as compared to 3.62 million tons of same period of last fiscal year, depicting an increase of 2.38 million tons<br />— <strong>ISSUES</strong><br />— Tough competition faced from china<br />— Plants of India will be active in three to four years<br />— Reduced demand for cement due to recession specially in Dubai real estate<br /><br /><strong>Recent Demand Issues<br /></strong>— Decline of local demand<br />— Reduction in public and private investment in construction and development projects<br />— Price war in both domestic and export markets and jeopardise some manufacturers’ viability<br />— Many issues have come into play due global recession<br /><br /><strong>Related and Supporting Industries:</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Fuel Supply</strong><br />· Natural Gas- Sui Gas company<br /><br /><strong>Construction</strong><br />— Housing development<br />— Industrial development<br />— Commercial development<br />— Government projects<br /><br /><strong>Mining and Quarrying</strong><br />— The country has immense reserves of various minerals and natural resources.<br />— Pakistan produces 6.81 million tones of limestone and 955000 tones of Iron ore.<br />— Balochistan province is a mineral rich area having substantial mineral, oil and gas reserves which have not been exploited to their full capacity or fully explored<br /><br /><strong>Transportation and Logistics</strong><br />— 20% of total cement cost is that of transportation on average<br />— Bulkers are used in order to transport loose cement from plant to the port<br />— Ordinary trucking system is used to transport raw material to the factory site and the packed cement to local consumers.<br />— Shipping lines been used to ease the export of cement<br /><br /><strong>Firm strategy, structure and rivalry:</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Structure</strong><br />— APCMA is the apex body of the cement manufacturers of Pakistan. It is registered body under section 3 of the Trade Organization Ordinance 2007 wide license no 14, dated April 26, 2008 issued by Ministry of Commence. It was incorporated on14th of September 1992 under section 32 of the Companies Ordinance 1984.<br />· There are five dominant industries of Pakistan, on the basis of their production capacity. The market share of these firms is as follows:<br />§ Askari cement (NZP) 7.6%<br />§ DG cement 9.8%<br />§ Lucky cement 12.7%<br />§ Maple leaf 7.1%<br />§ Pioneer cement 5.5%<br /><br /><strong>Strategy<br /></strong>— Cost-cutting strategy is followed by almost all cement manufacturers. Though, some large manufacturers like Lucky Cement also follow the differentiation strategy, but only to some extent<br />— Unstructured working style<br />— Firms are not unanimous in following a single strategy by which they all could benefit in the local and especially the international market<br />— Lack of knowledge on part of the owners exporting to international markets<br />— Unaware and divided on their opinions of which strategy to follow<br /><br /><strong>Rivalry:</strong><br />— Rivalry exists on the basis of increased productivity and innovation.<br />— Barriers to entry.<br />— Being dominated by large players only.<br />— 20 out of 27 plants are operational.<br />— Plants in the North and South.<br />— Export of cement<br />— Role of Cartels<br /><strong>Issues</strong><br />— Formation of cartels becomes a problem for small manufacturers as they are left alone in the market and their due share in the market is not respected.<br />— Not much of innovation is possible in this industry. Intense rivalry can make it difficult for smaller firms to survive.<br />— Cannot compromise much on the prices. Hardly possible for anyone to get an edge due to price.<br />— In order to compete and survive in the market, the firms may also reduce their quality.<br /><br /><strong>Recommendations:</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Factor Conditions:</strong><br />— Coal fired power plants can be imported from China to produce electricity that can be run on the local low quality coal.<br />— GOP should provide subsidies to the cement industry for the purchase of electricity from the local producers.<br />— GOP should provide infrastructure to the cement industry to setup new factories<br />— Measures should be taken to insure that the customers are not exploited by the cement industry.<br />— Proper workshops that are held under the supervision of experts so that the practical knowledge is properly imparted to the labor.<br />— The cement industry can use reward and bonuses to increase the motivational and performance level of the labor force.<br />— Foreign and local experts should be hired to do the research and development.<br />— Plants that have completed their working life should be phased out and new plants should be imported or setup up locally.<br />— GOP should provide incentives to the cement industry so that they can import new plants.<br />— European and South American markets should be targeted.<br />— Measures should be taken to provide dedicated gas supply to the cement industry.<br /><br /><strong>Demand Conditions:<br /></strong>— GoP should stress on factors that increase the GDP as the cement industry is closely correlated to GDP<br />— The construction programs undertaken by the previous government should not be abandoned.<br />— Before the activation of the Indian Cement plants Pakistani cement industry should exploit the situation to its benefit.<br />— GOP should stop the further curtailing of PSDP<br />— GOP should do its upmost to control the instability in the country.<br /><br /><strong>Related Industry:</strong><br />— Cement industry, rice industry and sugarcane industry should work together to bring about innovation in using the byproduct of the rice and sugarcane industry to find efficient and cost effective fuel alternatives.<br />— Cement industry can enter in to contracts with international logistics transportation companies such as Mersk to export cement to USA in huge volumes at low cost<br />— Better cement storage facilities should be made and air and moisture proof bag should be made to increase the shelf life of cement.<br />— Cement industry should enter into long term contracts with cement transporters to gain discounts and seek reduced transport prices.<br /><br /><strong>Firm Rivalry, Structure and Strategy:</strong><br />— When the big companies are forming quantity based cartels, small manufactures should be also considered as otherwise they would go out of business.<br />— Better machinery and management should be used to become cost efficient and become competitive.<br />— Should not compromise on the low quality raw material, and should charge higher prices for higher quality products and improve brand image.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-27340086307076292442009-04-15T08:59:00.001-07:002009-04-15T09:31:41.525-07:00Pakistan Army Poster<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRSs8p9y1i-f8jxg9dVrR5HceZKxk4QLbTIFcXUZMLGg-K6G5mLLycHOPqCO0RVYxEaqpO2Ox0eCKyBkbj2kxa2GeQkztkDfZZVc0GCt6BDIv4Ogixr9FXJn-X-vaZXrQBO3VdbOT8Nkk/s1600-h/pakistan+Armed+forces.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRSs8p9y1i-f8jxg9dVrR5HceZKxk4QLbTIFcXUZMLGg-K6G5mLLycHOPqCO0RVYxEaqpO2Ox0eCKyBkbj2kxa2GeQkztkDfZZVc0GCt6BDIv4Ogixr9FXJn-X-vaZXrQBO3VdbOT8Nkk/s320/pakistan+Armed+forces.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324955828495301298" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-85926544827503623592009-04-13T09:50:00.000-07:002009-04-13T10:01:06.565-07:00Federico Macheda<div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh6MQjPP4H1QnhgJSnKWAE29NxO9AIyUf4MsM3L91AeXVyCyzqDcBMB5NaH-dVBht0g975pgmZglzKFkRnFQQ0B6iZ0-2zaF4AQBCBDdWqMz1D45vIsdvu-h-5S2tQERfF_TK0QnskIOo/s1600-h/macheda4.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324220475081174642" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 195px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 293px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh6MQjPP4H1QnhgJSnKWAE29NxO9AIyUf4MsM3L91AeXVyCyzqDcBMB5NaH-dVBht0g975pgmZglzKFkRnFQQ0B6iZ0-2zaF4AQBCBDdWqMz1D45vIsdvu-h-5S2tQERfF_TK0QnskIOo/s320/macheda4.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Name:</strong><br />Federico Macheda<br /><br /><strong>Nick:<br /></strong>"Kiko"<br /><br /><strong>Date of Birth:<br /></strong>22nd August 1991<br /><br /><strong>Place of Birth:<br /></strong>Rome, Italy<br /><br /><strong>Position:</strong><br />Striker<br /><br /><strong>Career:</strong><br />2006-07 Lazio<br />2007-08 Manchester United<br /><br /><strong>Current Club:<br /></strong>Manchester United<br /><br /><strong>Number:<br /></strong>41<br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324219888718977074" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 328px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 186px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUwPO1fPP5RLejJb6zN2jXyIJpRcbUftOyfM6stbj6YgVsyHYDL2OIuazTeRFTjDsuiL9krp1gKhMKDWBwjcuyakDqh9ov-Y51IbqKE4hacHiwIdbdw3lHnmlr2CE3PkdlOogaOmqO8o/s320/macheda.jpg" border="0" /><br />A powerful forward with a natural goal scorer’s eye for goal, 'Kiko', as he is known to his team mates, was born in Rome and is regarded as one of the most promising prospects of a generation in his homeland. Macheda Started his career with Lazio, an Italian Professional Sports Club most noted for its football section.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324221244603582658" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrOruB1Zj6VKJtrrALhHUFjatg6yIw38NXC3S3MnaVXJkbyNlMUQD7dpCHNJlvS6gE2qxMXg8SZv83ajU6a00yRHSqRnSNMTOg1c4HS7Qvq-49xuKuD5BlHGOVXdWlEiy6rUa1QYWzV7Y/s320/macheda3.jpg" border="0" />Following his family’s relocation to England, he officially joined as a trainee in Manchester United Club where he quickly moved up the ranks. Macheda signed his first professional contract with Manchester United on his 17th birthday in August 2008. He is most noted for his strength on the ball, positional sense in the box, and clinical finishing.</div><div> </div><div> </div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324221752076606898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 204px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-80k2z1eRTK-Zpp_736wye_cGDl8mUMvabVsYeNx0xu2jHBNqjgwfqtEBCJ_t8bonWUE4uFZ-pEjv5AESfUCIEDfN7uVxq0hQ9hvFA-IEDDL8_jevC11gwkt-qzi8p0Y53E-i_J0npB8/s320/macheda1.jpg" border="0" /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-67600115741471399902009-04-12T12:16:00.000-07:002009-06-06T22:09:38.797-07:00Engro - Selection and Recruitment Process<div align="justify"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTsBsdFdUi72J-uqjpR56upokoYzdO2WJUFxXUsOBwry1njQt6BnR7dHVfKrE32Ak1_SM78hlt6dpIikEYnkOKsCgXdx4I4fqu4_rfdhBVVVQFuO2GIJnJxFtZuoYBZOD_UUs4gDYFGPo/s1600-h/engro+logo.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323889429141682946" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 134px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 78px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTsBsdFdUi72J-uqjpR56upokoYzdO2WJUFxXUsOBwry1njQt6BnR7dHVfKrE32Ak1_SM78hlt6dpIikEYnkOKsCgXdx4I4fqu4_rfdhBVVVQFuO2GIJnJxFtZuoYBZOD_UUs4gDYFGPo/s320/engro+logo.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong>Submitted To:</strong><br /></div><div align="justify">Ms. Sarah Mazhar<br /><br /><strong>Submitted By:</strong></div><div align="justify"><br /></div><div align="justify">Danish Raza<br />Fahad Jawed<br />Irfan Mansoor</div><div align="justify">M. Talal Saleem</div><div align="justify"><br /><br /></div><div align="justify"><a name="_Toc227297192"><strong>Engro-An Overview</strong></a><br />Engro is a diversified business enterprise, comprising of 5 subsidiaries and a joint venture company. Its business line includes chemical fertilizers, PVC resin, a bulk liquid chemical terminal, industrial automation, foods and power generation. Engro is currently serving customers in 17 countries globally through 11 offices in 3 countries in Asia and North America. A national company with an international reach, Engro is one of the largest and fastest growing companies in Pakistan today.</div><div align="justify"><br /></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>Vision:</strong><br />"To be the premier Pakistani enterprise with a global reach, passionately pursuing value creation for all stakeholders.”</div><div align="justify"><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Divisions:</span><br />Engro today stands recognized as a successful business operation and a role model for doing business in Pakistan.<br />* Engro Chemical Pakistan Limited (ECPL)<br />* Engro Vopak Terminal Limited (EVTL)<br />* Engro Polymer and Chemicals Limited (EPCL)<br />* Avanceon (formerly known as Engro Innovative Automation Pvt. Limited)<br />* Engro Foods Limited (EFL)<br />* Engro Energy Limited (EEL)<br />* Engro Eximp (Pvt.) Limited (EEPL)</div><div align="justify"><br /><br /></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>Work Place:</strong><br />Engro values each employee, their input and views. Continuously striving to become employer of choice, Engro provides a workplace where people feel confident, valued and inspired.</div><div align="justify"><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323889657835224354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 381px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 138px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrnW20T87j1hhCL6fTbSv3yG6MYIJ8APXJstWdxdb_07f6OsPoT24j_tOPfettAYE0jnx9Q9HCh-FcXU95PznbFi5c21z3K2npljtQWJoTPJemPvLY1fZlgORRqAk4X_48CGbU4hiv8lE/s320/Engro+pic.jpg" border="0" /> <p align="justify"><strong>Work With Engro:<br /></strong>Engro’s innovation and financial strength help make it a dynamic place to work, giving its employees the advantage of a large company, with the agility of a small company, where their voices are heard.<br />Engro has never been a Company to rest on its laurels. Its people and its culture drive it to achieve greater success. Engro looks for new and exciting ways to return value to its customers and its shareholders. It’s tough and demanding but also fun and always interesting. Employees will have every opportunity to succeed – as an individual and as part of a team. Engro’s businesses give employees the flexibility for change, the opportunity to learn about new markets and provide unparalleled career options. Engro people are some of the best in the world with a shared passion to learn and stretch beyond their limits. It is our people who make Engro a great Company and an exciting place to work.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Why Engro:</strong><br /><br /><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Long-term Commitment:<br /></strong>The long term vision is to become a diversified chemical company operating internationally. To achieve this aim we need the best people. We therefore aim to recruit high caliber people and give them the opportunity to grow and to develop their talents. We look for long-term commitment on the part of both Company and employee and have designed our systems to fulfill the Company's part of this promise.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Compensation and Benefits:</strong><br />The Company's Total Remuneration package is competitively aligned to the best in the industry and is appropriately balanced between providing cash compensation and benefits, including, medical and retirement benefits. The annual salary rewards are linked to employee performance.<br />An Employee Share Option Scheme operated by the Employees Trust offers new employees the opportunity to acquire ownership in the Company.<br /><br /><br /><strong>On-the-Job Development:<br /></strong>The Company believes strongly that people grow and learn most effectively through experience. Therefore, every opportunity is sought to try to develop an employee through work related experience. Such development implies an expansion or stretching of abilities or aptitudes. It has to be based on the knowledge, skills, and aspirations within oneself. This form of development needs to be understood and actively supported by the employee and the supervisor.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Training and Education:</strong><br />The Company has a range of training programs, both core management and technical, which are used on a regular basis to develop skill and knowledge. In addition, specific one-off programs may be developed where there is a need. Alternatively, individuals may attend externally run programs and there may be cases where learning by planned job experience is the best answer. Employees contribution to assessing own training needs are welcomed as are the suggestions for suitable programs. Engro’s appraisal system has a structure which calls for employee input to this discussion.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Career Development:<br /></strong>Engro is committed to the essential concept that career development is a shared responsibility, with employees’ part in it being an active and positive one.<br />Its aim is to match employees’ personal needs, desires and skills with the requirements of the Company for the right person in the right job at the right time. Our system requires employee’s contribution to the discussion about the future at the time of the appraisal interview.<br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297193"><strong>Compensation Organization and Executive Development Committee (COED)</strong></a>:<br />The Compensation Organization and Executive Development Committee defines a new position whenever it is required. When a department wants a new position to be established it goes to COED. The COED then asks for the reasons for the new position. If the COED accepts the reasoning, it gives its permission to the department and the advertisement is place in the newspapers.<br />The COED is also responsible for promotion within the organization. Whenever a position is vacant and a member of the organization is to be promoted, a member of COED brings his case to the COED meeting where it is thoroughly discussed. After the case is discussed a voting is carried out and it decides whether to promote the person or not.<br />The third function of COED is to rate individuals within the organization. The committee rates the employees according to their performance and skills. They then distribute the employees in the three groups, with the best member in the top one-third and the least performers in the lower one-third.<br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297194"><strong>The Recruitment Process</strong></a>:<br />The recruitment process is taken very seriously. It is vital that Engro select people with qualities essential for its continued success. Its human resource team is comprised of experience recruitment professional with diverse backgrounds.<br />During the recruitment process objective view is taken and best practices are followed. Engro’s recruitment methodology is based on examining capabilities or competencies. These capabilities are sets of behavior skills and knowledge that can be determinants of job success and focus on the role requirements. Thereby insuring consistency and accuracy in assessments and increasing the reliability of the selection process.<br />The recruitment is different for two different categories of people. First is the Management Profession and Technician and the second is Non Management Profession and Technician. There are seven different division of Engro. All have separate HR departments which evaluate the candidates for respective positions in their division<br /><br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297195"><strong>Management Profession and Technician</strong></a>:<br /><br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297196"><strong>Identification of need</strong></a>:<br />The first step is to check whether there is a requirement for new selection. If there is a new position to be developed then COED checks for that. If an already existing position has become vacant due to any reason, then the department notifies the Human Resource Department to place advertisement in the newspapers.<br /><br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297197"><strong>Advertisement</strong></a>:<br />After the identification of need, the Human Resource department places the advertisement in the newspaper to call for resumes. The advertisement specifies the job description and the job specification.<br /><br /><br /><strong>· Job description:</strong><br />These are the listing of duties as well as desirable qualifications for a particular job e.g. the advertisement also specifies number of years worth of experience to apply for the job.<br /><br /><br /><strong>· Job specifications:</strong><br />These are the characteristics and the abilities required from a person to work in that position such as leadership and teamwork qualities or command over English.<br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297198"><strong>Application Form\ Submission of Resume</strong></a><strong>:</strong><br />Application forms enable the candidates to present a complete picture of their talents, interests and ambitions. It is the first stage of evaluation and the basic criteria for initial selection. The candidates must present a resume which makes the person stand out.<br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297199"><strong>Evaluation of Resume</strong></a><strong>:</strong><br />After the resumes of hopeful candidates have been received, the HR department checks all the resumes of the people who have applied. In its evaluation the HR department checks the experience and the qualities of the individual and matches them to the requirement of the job.<br /><br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297200"><strong>Short Listing</strong></a>:<br />After the evaluation of the resumes the HR shortlists the candidates who have fulfilled the minimum requirement of the job description and specification.<br /><br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297201"><strong>Test</strong></a>:<br />The test is conducted by the HR department. In the test the managers check the IQ level, English Composition and Logic. The duration of the test is exactly one hour. The test is checked manually and is done by the HR department.<br /><br /><br />I<a name="_Toc227297202"><strong>nterview</strong></a>:<br />The candidates who have successfully cleared the tests and have scored above than relevant mark are then called for interview. The interview is conducted by four people, on executive and three managers. All the four interviewers should preferably be from within the department but often that is not the case.<br />The purpose of the interviews is to check the person’s subjective skills which are difficult to measure such as attitude, communication skills, abilities and personality. During the interview all four person mark the candidate individually and then put forward a cumulative mark. These are the marks against which different candidates are differentiated.<br /><br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297203"><strong>Recommendation to Human Resource Department</strong></a>:<br />Following the interview the employee of the particular department goes to the HR and gives recommendation to the HR manager regarding the interview of the candidate. The HR then conducts an interview with the candidate where they decide the Grade scale of the candidate, the different benefits and the pay scale.<br /><br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297204"><strong>Medical</strong></a>:<br />After the terms of contract is agreed upon, the candidate is asked to have a medical test.<br /><br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297205"><strong>Hiring</strong></a><strong>:</strong><br />After the medical test, the candidate is referred back to the relevant department with the contract. If the department agrees upon it, then the candidate is hired.<br /><br /><a name="_Toc227297206"><strong>Non Management Profession and Technician</strong></a><strong>:</strong><br />The non Management Profession and Technician recruitment procedure is the same except for the basic difference that they don’t sit the test. They only have to send the resume and pass the interview. There also is a difference in the interview. While for MPT there are three managers and one executive, in the NMPT procedure there are no executives. The managers may or may not be present in the interviews. Otherwise it has the same procedure.<br />· Identification of need<br />· Advertisement<br />· Application Form\ Submission of Resume<br />· Evaluation of Resume<br />· Short Listing<br />· Interview<br />· Recommendation to Human Resource Management<br />· Medical<br />· Hiring<br /><br />Source: Engro's Official Website </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3601481582540829777.post-54021630892097851152009-04-11T07:22:00.000-07:002009-04-11T07:39:31.407-07:00Nintendo Wii<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm6Q748CEWSiVzzS1bqNWDl33xZ70U4kDHkBM3n6EBRQlFyNW4IWAiSEq8AbibSgHJLTcMFackeyLE03bj9GY66Q6qiMDv2acsXAUiSUq1rBOnDs_p_QWwfN80YcVa4POGkGUBS8bTQRY/s1600-h/nintendo+1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 279px; height: 169px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm6Q748CEWSiVzzS1bqNWDl33xZ70U4kDHkBM3n6EBRQlFyNW4IWAiSEq8AbibSgHJLTcMFackeyLE03bj9GY66Q6qiMDv2acsXAUiSUq1rBOnDs_p_QWwfN80YcVa4POGkGUBS8bTQRY/s320/nintendo+1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323442282197461618" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal"><b>Manufacturer:<span style=""> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></b>Nintendo </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Type:<span style=""> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></b>Video game console </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Generation:<span style=""> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></b>Seventh generation </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>CPU:<span style=""> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></b>IBM PowerPC-based "Broadway" </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Storage:<span style=""> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></b>512 MB Internal flash memory</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Capacity:<span style=""> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></b>SD card, SDHC card, Nintendo GameCube Memory Card </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Graphics:<span style=""> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></b>ATI "<st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hollywood</st1:place></st1:city>"</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Nintendo Wii has revolutionized the gaming world. To see how it has done so, you have to try it yourself. It gives a unique gaming experience for the whole family. You don’t just play games, but experience it. What stands Nintendo Wii out of its competitors is its Wii Remote which has motion detection technology. Keep on reading to see why your home is incomplete without Nintendo Wii. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Wii Remote:</b><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgwDwO-SSGvsyqZvtqrXYeTqjOMNSFCL9Zn-HSPCLggbE3Wqd_M4RN-bMqKCoueK6zjziWytp2V7cjbWlVwbx2QlDntRSn3Ngh-wv_k3eddagkLLlVLooXaBpv76cnU0FV7-Qsk3uIbOw/s1600-h/nintendo+2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 144px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgwDwO-SSGvsyqZvtqrXYeTqjOMNSFCL9Zn-HSPCLggbE3Wqd_M4RN-bMqKCoueK6zjziWytp2V7cjbWlVwbx2QlDntRSn3Ngh-wv_k3eddagkLLlVLooXaBpv76cnU0FV7-Qsk3uIbOw/s320/nintendo+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323441788479354578" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">You can use the remote for swinging a racket, bat or ball. In a racing game, the remote becomes your steering wheel. All you need to do is pick up the remote and get ready for the pitch.<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;font-size:7;" > </span>The Wii Remote also packs a speaker, rumble feature, and external extension connector for other input devices. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Sensor Bar: </b><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE8oQEORJxEwA-AkB00WNd19vZqr_X9jGy-I2ne9_bAkXMttgvu-RnlcwAt2JTGwh1p624_JXFru7wH8t-e4GpoE4P1njgQopN0z-8AZNUOCeXYtXlhr1BNr9wpsDnnk2sRlqDx-G0NUY/s1600-h/screen-5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 253px; height: 146px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE8oQEORJxEwA-AkB00WNd19vZqr_X9jGy-I2ne9_bAkXMttgvu-RnlcwAt2JTGwh1p624_JXFru7wH8t-e4GpoE4P1njgQopN0z-8AZNUOCeXYtXlhr1BNr9wpsDnnk2sRlqDx-G0NUY/s320/screen-5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323442016299088178" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Sensor Bar has two points of infrared light that the Wii Remote uses to sense its position in a 3D space. Wii Remotes can be used 6 to 10 feet away from the TV screen. The Sensor Bar can work with 4 Wii Remotes simultaneously. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Wireless Connectivity: </b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">- Wi-Fi</p> <p class="MsoNormal">- Bluetooth</p> <p class="MsoNormal">- 2 × USB 2.0</p> <p class="MsoNormal">- LAN Adapter (via USB) </p> <p class="MsoNormal">- Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection (for online connectivity)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Wii communicates wirelessly with the Internet via your router or a Wii LAN adapter. The console can also communicate and connect with other Wii systems through a self-generated wireless LAN, enabling local wireless multiplayer on different television sets. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Media: </b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">- 12 cm Wii Optical Disc<b><o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">- 8 cm Nintendo GameCube Game Disc<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Retail copies of games are supplied on DVD-like Wii Optical Discs packaged in case along with instruction information.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>List of games published by Nintendo: </b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN">All Virtual Console games have been re-published by Nintendo.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><b><span style="" lang="EN">2006 <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Wii Sports</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Excite Truck</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Wii Play</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><b><span style="" lang="EN">2007 <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">WarioWare: Smooth Moves</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Eyeshield 21: Field Saikyō no Senshi</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> (<st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Japan</st1:place></st1:country-region> only) <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Super Paper Mario</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Mario Party 8</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Big <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Brain</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Academy</st1:placetype></st1:place>: Wii Degree</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Pokémon Battle Revolution</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Mario Strikers Charged</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Metroid Prime 3: Corruption</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Donkey Kong Barrel Blast</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Battalion Wars 2</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> (Published by Nintendo in <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Japan</st1:place></st1:country-region> only) <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Super Mario Galaxy</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Link's Crossbow Training</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><b><span style="" lang="EN">2008 <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Wii Chess</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> (<st1:place st="on">Europe</st1:place> only) <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Everyone's Common Knowledge Television</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> (<st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Japan</st1:place></st1:country-region> only) <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Endless Ocean</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Super Smash Bros. Brawl</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Mario Kart Wii</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Wii Fit</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Mario Super Sluggers</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Wario</span></i></st1:placename><i><span style="" lang="EN"> <st1:placetype st="on">Land</st1:placetype></span></i></st1:place><i><span style="" lang="EN">: Shake It!</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Fatal Frame IV</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> (<st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Japan</st1:place></st1:country-region> only) <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Captain Rainbow</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> (<st1:country-region st="on">Japan</st1:country-region>, Europe and <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Australia</st1:place></st1:country-region> only) <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Wii Music</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Disaster: Day of Crisis</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> (<st1:country-region st="on">Japan</st1:country-region>, Europe North America and <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Australia</st1:place></st1:country-region> only) <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Animal Crossing: City Folk<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><b><span style="" lang="EN">Announced for 2009 <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Wii Sports Resort</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Punch-Out!! Wii</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Start w/ 100 Conversations! English Conversation</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Another Code: R, Gateway of Memory</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Kensax</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Cosmic <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Walker</st1:place></st1:city></span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Spawn Smasher</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Dynamic Slash</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Tact of Magic</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Sin & Punishment 2</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Forever Blue 2: Beautiful Ocean</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Everyone's the Star on the NHK Red-and-White Quiz <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Battle</st1:place></st1:city></span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Line Attack Heroes</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Hoshi no Kirby</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Excitebots: Trick Racing</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><b><span style="" lang="EN"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><b><span style="" lang="EN">Release Date Unknown <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Project H.A.M.M.E.R.</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Pikmin 3</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">The Legend of Zelda</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><i><span style="" lang="EN">Super Mario Platformer</span></i><span style="" lang="EN"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="EN"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="" lang="EN">Source: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Nintendo's official website, wikipedia</span></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="" lang="EN"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Coming up Next: Wii fit !!!</span><br /></span></span></b></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0